Don't Judge a Women by Her Hair

Updated: Mar 22

Black women face lots of pressure from society about our hair. I remember my own struggles. As a woman with a short afro, I'd walk around feeling as confident as ever.

However, the looks I received from the outside world were much in contrast to how I felt.

I remember receiving comments like your hair looks better natural or you look "soo" different with your short hair. Once I put on my wigs the looks received were very different. After some thought, I came up with the slogan, "Hair doesn't make you beautiful, it helps the world see that you are." Although, It took me until I turned 37 to recognize how beautiful I truly am has everything to do with who I am as a woman.

I think it's fucked up to judge a person by their looks, but people do. Whether you have a head full of hair or none at all, you are free to wear whatever. Hair is an extension of your outfit. Think about it, when you attend a wedding you get your outfit, nails, shoes and hair done, it's an accessory. Even though everyone has an opinion on how your hair should be styled, the final say is yours. We have to appreciate others hair choices.

It pisses me off when I hear women being called "fake" or when people assume a woman is "bald headed" because she wears a wig.

Whether a women rocks a wig as a protective style, convenience or out of neccessity it does not determine her character. Take this. You do not need a reason 'To wear a wig or To not wear a wig', that is the question? Lol. Anyone who feels compelled to negatively comment on wig wearing, needs to be educated. As a society we need to be better at understanding the psychological impact associated with hair and how harmful hair shaming can be to the individual.

Unmerited comments about a black woman's hair can provoke a sense of shame and a feeling of inadequacy. This turns on a leaky faucet of insecurities that decreases work ethic and self confidence. I've been a victim of hair shaming and it perpetuates self hate.

My goal is to speak with African American women with natural hair, so we can share our stories and educate others on positive ways to educate the people who say those unmerited comments. Let's teach them how to communicate rather then be offended by their words.

It breaks my heart that we still live in a world where your natural, God given hair could make or break your job interview. Many times we choose the more common look, even though we don't feel like it. Sometimes we are just born with it. Sometimes it's Weave N Luxury. I need people to understand, hair has nothing to do with your inner beauty.

All of us can be apart of the solution by releasing your expectations of how anyone should wear thier hair. Say nice things or nothing at all. All of our hair styles are acceptable. It's a cultural thing, you may not understand.


 Rayshone Oliver

 Youngstown, OH 44512

Phone: 330-406-9104


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